


Tithon

by incognition



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 10:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10852167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incognition/pseuds/incognition
Summary: A mysterious bounty.  Absurdly complicated obstacles.  Prohibitively high stakes.  Of course they shouldn't be doing this.  But of course, they'll do it anyway.





	Tithon

**Author's Note:**

> This has been clanking around in my head for months. And people on AO3 have been entertaining me for years, so this is, I guess, attempt number one at giving back to my fellow RT/AH trash. Also, thank you, AH, for displaying so many absurd personality tics that we can literally create characters out of them. :B
> 
> Please enjoy. I'll try to be regular about updates. <3

In hindsight, Michael would later think, it was a good fucking thing that the first try at stealing the Frame had been a failure.  But at the time of the first Frame heist, it had felt like nothing more than an absolute, eleven-out-of-ten shitshow.  

Reports of the Frame had been circulating in the underground for a number of weeks when Geoff announced that they were going to go after it.  The Frame was a mysterious item.  Intel on it was scarce, and all Michael really knew about it was that it was highly coveted future tech of some sort.  Every crew in the country seemed to want to keep it out of the hands of every other crew.  Michael supposed that Geoff wanted to go after it because of that.  Chasing a bounty that the entire criminal underground wanted?  Why not, right?  They were  _ themselves,  _ after all. 

Michael didn’t learn what the Frame looked like until he saw it in the airport hangar at Los Santos International Airport one early September morning.  Gavin had managed to figure out the night before that the Frame was going to be there for a short layover.  The Frame was a large, empty rectangle (thus the name “Frame,” they supposed), made of some unknown metal, about six feet high and three feet wide, three inches thick on each side.  An intricate geometric design, like circuitry, was engraved over the whole thing.  It was also heavy as fuck.  Michael would have guessed it weighed about two hundred pounds, based on the effort it took him and Jeremy to heave it out of the airplane and into the back of their armored getaway van.

Geoff had told them that at least two or three crews from Los Santos might be coming after the Frame at the same time as them.  They had all prepared accordingly.  What they  _ hadn’t  _ prepared for was half the crews in the goddamn  _ country  _ turning up for it.  At least, that’s what Michael guessed was happening, based on the sheer number of people Geoff, Jack, Ryan and Gavin were holding off, while Geoff screamed at Michael and Jeremy to hurry up as the two of them shoved the Frame unevenly into the van.  

And it wasn’t until moments later, when what seemed like a tsunami of gunmen began forcing the six of them to retreat into the hangar, that Michael decided there had to be something really fucking special about this bounty.  He didn’t have time to contemplate it, though; he was too busy vaulting into the back of the van with the Frame, followed closely by Gavin as they retreated from the assault of gunfire.  Jeremy ran around to the driver’s side and got in, the engine roaring to life a moment later.  Jack bawled instructions at them to get the fuck out as he shoved an angry, incoherently-yelling Geoff into the passenger side of his Entity.  Across the hangar, an armored Ryan swung his leg over his motorbike, looking grim.   

Somehow, they busted their way out of the hangar, and Michael soon found himself, Gavin, and the Frame careening down the coastal highway in the back of the van, screaming bloody murder while Jeremy drove them around corners at a breakneck speed, swerving to avoid what seemed like half of the world’s gunmen hot on their tail. 

“I don’t KNOW who these FUCKERS were, Jack,” Michael yelled into his comm, his voice fueled half by adrenaline and half to be heard over the screech of tires and the echo of bullets outside.  He gripped a strap bolted into the van wall, his knuckles white as the rest of his body was flung to the right, to the left, to the right.  “We don’t FUCKING have FUCKING rear windows and we are all three about to BITE THE FUCKING BIG ONE IF WE DON’T GET EVACUATED RIGHT! NOW!”  A hard left just then caused Gavin to punctuate Michael’s growing tirade with a shriek and a tumble across the cargo space as he lost his handhold.  The Frame clanked against the wall, tilting dangerously. 

“We don’t have time to get you, Michael!” Jack’s annoyed voice rang in Michael’s earpiece, along with the muffled crackle of gunfire.  “Geoff’s been shot, he’s fucking bleeding out in my nice car, and we’ve got a shit-ton of heat from… who the fuck are these people, anyway?!”  

Michael gritted his teeth.  He hated pissy, stressed-Jack.  “Then where the fuck’s RYAN?!” he ground out loudly, clutching onto the strap hard as their van nearly rolled again.  Gavin, still not having been able to grab a handhold, fell against him, yelling and cowering as the Frame toppled over and nearly crushed them both.   

“Kinda busy right now, sorry,” Ryan crackled in, voice strained and muffled by the roar of a motorcycle engine.  The  _ boom  _ of a rocket launcher echoed in after him. 

“Michael, Gav! We’re coming up on Zancudo, ‘bout five minutes,” Jeremy’s voice cut urgently into the comm.  

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Michael hissed.  He elbowed at the combined weight of Gavin and the Frame ineffectively.  All this gunfire would definitely send the Zancudo guards into high alert, which meant more pursuers.  “That’s all we fuckin’ need, a goddamn military fortress after us.” 

“Wait, that’s good,” Gavin gasped, pushing himself awkwardly off of Michael.  He slowly pried the Frame away from them both until it rested back against the opposite wall and paused, bracing his hand against Michael’s shoulder as the Van rumbled.  Michael stared incredulously at the wide green eyes an arm’s length away.  “There’s a chopper on the beach after we go through the Zancudo tunnel,” Gavin explained.  

Michael frowned.  “Why’s there a chopper on the beach after we go through the Zancudo tunnel?” 

Gavin looked away, lips twitching.  “I, er, may’ve left it there after nicking it from Park Services last night.”  

“What were you doing  _ nicking choppers _ last night?”  Michael demanded, mimicking Gavin accusingly.  The van tilted dangerously again, and Michael hastily reached out to grab onto Gavin’s shoulder with his free arm, steadying him. 

Gavin did the facial equivalent of a shrug.  “I thought we might need one?”  he tried.  Michael looked at him disbelievingly.  Gavin's expression turned sheepish.  “I was...bored,” he admitted, scratching his ear. 

Michael huffed, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Is the chopper still going to be there now, Gavin?” Jack interjected, businesslike, over the comm. 

“Dunno,” Gavin replied.  “Probably.  It’s only been half a day and no one knew where I put it.”  

There was a sudden  _ bang  _ from under the van, followed by a loud screeching noise.  The van wobbled violently, and Gavin’s fingers dug into Michael’s shoulder.  “ _ Fuck,  _ that’s a blown tire!”  Jeremy called urgently.  “These guys are gonna catch up to us.”  

“Fuck,”  Michael echoed.  “Okay, Jeremy, let’s go to Gavin’s mythical chopper of boredom.”

“Sure. Give me a waypoint, Gav.” 

“Right,”  said Gavin.  “Go through the Zancudo tunnel, and take a hard right off the road as soon as you get out. I touched down on the beach there, on the other side of the trees.  We’re gonna have to get out and leg it a bit.”  

“I’ll leg it if it means not dying.  Let’s do it,” said Michael.  Suddenly, he realized something.  “Wait.  What about the fucking Frame?” he asked.  “We won’t have time to load  _ that _ into the chopper!”  

There was a short silence. 

“Leave the Frame, boys,” Jack’s voice came in again tiredly, still overlaid by the sound of gunfire.  Michael could hear Geoff shouting something angrily through Jack’s mic.  Geoff must have lost his earpiece.  “Shut up, Geoff,” Jack snapped.  “I’m not letting you--or any of us--die for this shit.  We’ll get the Frame next time.  Jeremy, get Michael and Gavin and yourself out.  Do whatever you have to.  Ryan’s taking out our heat.  We’ll rendezvous at Chilead.”  

“A classic fail, just like old times!” Ryan supplied blandly, his crackly voice echoed by another rocket launcher boom through the comm.  

“Jesus fucking  _ christ _ .”  Michael muttered as Jeremy floored the van around another turn.  He  grabbed the wall strap and tugged Gavin’s shoulder down, making Gavin duck just in time to avoid being slammed in the head by the goddamn Frame.  Unfortunately, he forgot to duck himself, and the top bar of the Frame thwacked heavily against the crown of his head.  “FUCK--shhiiiii...t,” Michael’s yell turned into a dizzy hiss of pain, his world threatening to black out.  

“Michael! Michael, boi,” Gavin shouted, grabbing Michael and supporting him as he slid to the floor of the van. 

“‘M good, ‘m okay,” Michael muttered, fighting for consciousness.  

Of course, that was when a fresh wave of gunfire surged outside.  Bullets thundered against the armored rear doors of the van like a violent hailstorm, drowning out the screech of the van’s broken wheel against the pavement.  “Shit, shit,  _ shit _ , guys, this piece of shit is not going to make it,” Jeremy babbled into the comm, beginning to sound frantic. 

“Michael!” said Gavin urgently.  He let go of Michael and crawled across the floor unsteadily.  “Michael, stay with me, Michael.”

“Yeah, boi,” Michael murmured blearily.  

The van tilted again dangerously, wheels shrieking.  Michael slid bonelessly against the wall, groaning in pain.  Gavin tumbled, scrabbling for purchase.  “Flippin’  _ hell _ , Jeremy!”  he shouted.  “Stop driving like a bloody loon!  Michael, Talk to me, Michael.”

“Talk ‘bout what, you piece of shit?”

“Good, that’s good, Michael,” Gavin replied absently.  There was a pause.  Then, “Keep awake, Michael.  I’ve got an idea.” 

Michael watched dimly as Gavin opened a metal floorboard of the van, and yanked out a grenade launcher and four frag grenades.  Michael blinked.  “You-- holy fuck, boi,” he mumbled hoarsely.  “Were you jus’ saving that for a rainy day or what?”   

Gavin grinned.  “My fucks have been known to be quite holy, Michael boi.”  Michael was vaguely aware of Jeremy groaning through the comm.  “Right, just stay there.  Don’t get up.  I’m going to open the back door for a tick.”  

The van lurched as Jeremy, listening in on the comm, almost reflexively slammed on the brakes.  “What?!  _ No, _ Gavin!”  he yelled.  “We’re almost in the tunnel!”

“Got to, Jeremy.  They’re gonna kill us if we don’t do something.  Don't slow down.”  Before Michael had time to foggily process anything further, there was a thud as the back door opened.  The gunfire’s volume immediately increased.  “Fuck-- _agh_ _! ”  _  Gavin let out a strangled shout of pain.

_ Gavin.   _ Suddenly, Michael felt a whole lot more awake, his heart thundering in his chest.  “What the  _ shit _ are you _ doing _ , Gavin?” he bit out in an angry, fearful, powerless croak, struggling to sit up.  His head swam.  There was another thud, followed by a sudden, enormous explosion behind the van, so close that the van surged forward slightly.  The road behind them glowed a fiery orange and died down.  Then, the van interior dimmed as the back door slammed shut again, and Gavin was there, clutching at his own forearm and grimacing, but otherwise seeming fine.  

Michael shut his eyes in naked relief, leaning back against the wall. 

“Flippin' hell , ”  Gavin repeated, “That kinda hurt.”

“What the everloving  _ shit _ , Gavin,”  Michael groaned plaintively, scrunching his eyelids together. 

“I second that,” Jeremy snapped, through the comm.  "What the fuck, man?"

“I blew up our er, friends back there,”  Gavin said, sounding more cheerful.  “God, they were right up our  _ anus _ .  Hopefully the Zancudo lot comes out to investigat them-- ah  _ ha _ ,” Gavin made a satisfied sound as a loud wail of sirens from Fort Zancudo began.  “Should slow ‘em down.  Think I got bipped in the arm, though,” he added, as an afterthought. He began winding a rag tightly around his forearm. 

“No shit, Sherlock.  Christ, you  _ idiot _ ,” Michael muttered hoarsely.  “Fuckin’ warn a guy next time.” His heart was still hammering, and his head felt like it was going to explode.  The screeching of the van’s broken wheel against the asphalt wasn’t helping, even though the gunfire had died down for now, swallowed by Gavin’s grenades.   

Gavin chuckled. “I did warn you.  Saved your life too, boi!  And Jeremy's." 

“My hero,” Michael mumbled sarcastically.  “Stupid asshole.”  

“Aw, Michael.”

“What.”  Michael forced his eyes back open and glared. 

“You’re smiling, boi.”

“This, a smile?  What the fuck kind of world you come from where this is a smile?”

“I can hear it in your voice.”  

“You’re an idiot.”  

“I kind of like you when you’re concussed.  You’re less mean.”  

“Shut up.”  

“Awwwww,” Jeremy supplied through the comm, sarcastically.  

“If you all could get your heads out of your asses for  _ one second, _ ” Jack cut in tersely, “and get out of there alive?”

“Also, I can’t aim as well when you’re doing a mating dance in my ear,” Ryan interjected, sounding peeved. 

“Almost there, mom and dad,” Jeremy retorted.  The van limped through the tunnel under Fort Zancudo, tire-free wheels still screaming obnoxiously against the pavement.  Tendrils of smoke were beginning to escape from its hood.  “Lads, ready?” 

“Ready,” Gavin replied.  “Hurry up though, I think I hear choppers taking off from the fort.”  

“All right, keep your fuckin’ hat on.  Make sure you help Michael, too.  Hold on to something!”  The van clanked and screeched out of the tunnel.  Gavin threw his injured arm around Michael and gripped a wall strap with his other.  Michael wrapped his arms around Gavin's torso just before Jeremy took them off the road with a hard right turn, down a steep bank covered in brush.  They rattled and bounced through the foliage, narrowly scraping by trees.  “Okay boys.  I see the chopper ahead.  You still with me?”  

“Yep!” Gavin replied.  

“Uhh-huhh,”  Michael managed, blearily, his hold beginning to weaken.  

The van braked hard.  “Okay. Go! Go! Go!” Jeremy shouted, banging open his door.   

Gavin stumbled to his feet, disentangling them and scrabbling at the back door until it unlatched and then kicking it open.  The smell of charred rubber and gunpowder rolled over Michael as he struggled to his knees.  Gavin appeared in front of him again.  Michael belatedly noticed that Gavin’s hasty tourniquet was soaked in red, but Gavin was paying it no mind as he grabbed Michael’s arm and slung it around his shoulder, all but hoisting him up.  Together, they limped to the back of the van and dropped out.  Michael winced and stumbled as he hit the ground, but he forced himself back onto his feet.  They tottered around the smoking van, picking up speed.  Ahead of them, Michael could see a sprinting Jeremy vault into a black chopper.  Back by the road, gunfire began again as they were spotted by whatever gangsters Gavin hadn’t blown up.  Michael forced his legs to pump faster.  They stumbled ten yards, twenty, thirty, until they were under the now-spinning chopper blades.  Gavin hoisted himself through the open passenger door and leaned out for Michael, who grabbed at Gavin’s arms and scrambled in afterwards.  They fell in a pile onto the passenger seat, gasping for breath.  “Up, Lil’ J! Up!” Gavin panted, but Jeremy was already pulling back hard on the throttle.  The chopper rose unsteadily, revolved, and made a beeline out over the open water.  Gavin whooped.  The gunfire receded into the distance, drowned out by the whipping of helicopter blades.  Michael smiled, and the commotion finally faded away completely as he slipped into blissful unconsciousness.  

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment; I'd love to know your thoughts! <3


End file.
